Whenever You Are Feeling Hopeless, Ask Yourself These Questions

Have you ever found yourself in a position where you were feeling completely hopeless?

I can honestly say that I have. I found myself in that position more times than I could count, especially when it came to my health.

I struggled so long with my physical, emotional, and mental health that I gave up hope that anything would change.

I felt like nothing I tried worked.

I would try eating less fat, less meat, and drastically fewer calories and I would still find myself struggling to lose the weight that was keeping me a bystander in my own life.

Every time I failed to lose weight, or I gave up on doing cardio or setting up a consistent workout routine, I fell into a funk, and I would just give up.

I would get so down on myself that I would turn to food, mostly garbage processed foods, to comfort me but it never really did what I wanted it to do.

In fact, it would do the opposite, fueling my unwellness and making me sicker physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Looking back on things, I realize now that one of the biggest reasons that I failed repeatedly was that I never really answered this question truthfully:

“Why am I actually trying to get healthy for?”

This is not to say I haven’t tried to answer this question. 

It’s just that every time I did, I would always answer with the very superficial:

“Because I want to be thinner.”

But that was as far as I would ever go when thinking about that question.

The problem with looking at health with only the goal of being thinner is that it was terribly superficial and at the heart of it, not really the reason I wanted to “get healthy”.

In fact, I really wasn’t looking to get healthy.

Truly, for the longest time, until I was almost 40, I just wanted to be thinner.

I didn’t understand what health really was or what being healthy looked like in terms of physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

I only saw health in terms of what the numbers on the scale said, and that was such a small part of what makes up true health and wellness.

It wasn’t until I could honestly answer the question, “Why do I want to be healthy?” that I could start walking along the path to true health.

However, before I could truthfully answer that question, I needed to honestly answer this question:

“What am I trying to live for?”

This really was the question that I needed to answer because when I was completely hopeless, thinking that there was no way I was ever going to be healthy as a mid-’30s, mother of 3 small kids, standing 5’5” and over 240 pounds, it was honestly something that I struggled to answer.

The thing about making lasting, sustainable life changes is you really must be able to honestly answer the questions of what you’re making the changes for and why you are trying to change.

For most of my adult life, I didn’t answer those questions truthfully.

I didn’t really think about the real reasons for needing to change, not just wanting to change.

When you honestly answer these questions, it’s not a matter of “want”, it’s truly a matter of “need.”

I needed to change because I needed to be healthy enough to be a real mother to my three young kids.

I needed to change because I needed to be healthy enough and strong enough to participate fully in my own life again. 

I needed to change because I needed to be able to live the life that God needed me to live.

When you’ve given up hope that things can change for the better, especially with your health, even the smallest thing can be overwhelming.

Fortunately, once you’ve been able to answer the first two questions I mentioned truthfully, the last two questions that you need to answer become a little bit easier.

“Do you have to make all the changes you to all at once?”

This is the easiest question to answer, but when you’re so bogged down in sadness and hopelessness, it sure doesn’t feel easy.

The truthful answer is, no, you don’t have to make all the changes you need all at once, even if it feels that way.

The best way to get started on your path to better health is to take the first, small step. 

Just make one single change so that you aren’t overwhelmed with the prospect of making 10, 15, even 20 changes.

And finally, the last question you need to ask yourself, and it’s going to be one that you must ask a lot, is:

“What is worth it?”

So, I just answered this question the other day, though this time around, it was in response to a question asked of me by another person who was curious as to my way of eating.

She asked me, “Do you ever miss eating all of the foods you cut out?”

Truthfully, I told her, no, I don’t.

The reason I gave was that eating all that garbage, the processed foods, the sugar, the snacky crap that used to make up 95% of my diet just wasn’t worth it anymore.

Feeling like trash, and having poor mental, physical, and emotional health wasn’t worth it to me. 

It’s not worth it to me to feel terrible to eat something that tastes just okay.

What is worth it to me is cutting out foods that don’t benefit me so that I have my life back again. By cutting out those foods and choosing to do strength training on a regular basis, I can be an active, attentive, and alert mother and wife.

It’s worth it to do the hard things now, focusing on eating only bioavailable, nutrient-dense, protein-rich animal foods and lifting weights so that I can avoid hard things in the future.

Remember, when you are feeling hopeless, that you are never going to feel better, that you are never going to be healthy and active again, God has a plan for you.

You are loved. You are important in His eyes, and if you’re still breathing, you have a purpose to fulfill that is greater than you.

Start asking yourself those four questions I talked about and start really searching for the true answers to them.

Only by being honest with yourself will you be able to get to the point where you realize that you are worth it.

Once you realize this, you’ll be able to start your journey towards better health. It’s going to be tough, but it is worth it.